Give That Guy Another Chance

Still looking for Mr Right? Having your fair share of horrible dates? Does it seem like you’ll never find the one you’re meant to be with?

Perhaps the solution to your problem is to cut your date(s) a little more slack. Now, I am not saying that you have to settle for someone who is not your type, but the fact of the matter is that you are almost certainly letting some great guys slip through your fingers because they are not living up to your expectations during the date.

And the reason for this may be very simple. In a word, it all comes down to nervousness on that first encounter.

Not many of us perform well under pressure. And it’s a known fact that a lot of people just don’t show their real personality under that kind of pressure.

Unless he is really obnoxious and abrasive, what is the harm in agreeing to a second date?

If you do this, there is a good chance that you’ll see him a little more relaxed and more like himself. You’ll either see the wonderful personality, or not… But at least you’ll know.

And having a second date certainly doesn’t mean that you are obligated to see him again. Just make sure that he doesn’t get the wrong signals.

Honestly, there is no need to be alone or *cringe* consider contacting your ex to see what he is up to – anything is better than that – really.

Nope, you are better off starting fresh and you may be throwing away perfectly good men. :)

Imagine going out on a date with the man of your dreams – but because of his shyness, you never really get a chance to see the real him? How tragic is that?

Alternatively, you may want to think about making the first date a little less stressful.

One of the toughest things for a shy person to do is engage someone in a face-to-face conversation. And this is even worse for a guy because he may feel the need to keep things interesting and avoid awkward pauses, all while ensuring that he passes all your tests.

I know, I know, there are no tests, but it may certainly feel like that to him. Any time there is romance on the line, the stakes are high. :) Just think about easing the situation is all I am saying.

So a few suggestions for the second date:

Opt for a day date – Going on a day date is just less stressful, I don’t know why. Maybe because it feels less like a romantic date – thus the pressure is off. Talking is also made easier because you are less likely to be yelling over loud music in some club. Finally, there are regular, everyday people around, and you are more likely to have a quiet chat over coffee than drinks in a club.

Try to relax – If you are also nervous and anxious, you could come off as though you aren’t interested or that, perhaps, he’s boring you. You won’t be smiling, you won’t appear relaxed, and there is a good chance that he is going to take this to heart and assume it is something he is doing. Facial expressions are key here.

Add to the conversation to keep things going – Now, I am not saying that you don’t, it’s just that having a conversation that flows takes a little bit of work – and you should also be contributing. Don’t just assume that it is his job. Finding things to say to avoid those uncomfortable long gaps is really not that bad if you plan ahead a little. Have a few topics in your head just in case.

Even if you haven’t been blown away on the first date, it’s in your best interest to see the big picture before deciding that he isn’t for you. Not many people can work magic within the space of a few hours – particularly under that kind of pressure.

How to Attract a Good Man

Even if you haven’t had much luck in attracting mister right, you should know that there are some great guys out there just looking to meet someone such as yourself. Forget all the bad dates you’ve had – start from scratch and use these tips to finally meet someone amazing.

The Right Place at the Right Time

So, the first thing you have to consider is where to meet Mr. Right. If you are bouncing around from one bad date to another, then there is a chance that you are looking in the wrong place. Planning ahead a little is often all it takes. If most of your dates come from the local bar or a certain online dating site, then the first thing you need to do is shake things up. Get out of your old habits and start a new routine. If something continues to produce bad results, chances are, it isn’t going to get any better.

One of the best strategies you can adopt is to look for your guy in normal, everyday life situations. When you hang out in bars or surf shady dating sites, the chances of meeting someone of substance is greatly diminished. Not to say that you can’t, just that it is unlikely.

The quality guys are everywhere – that’s the good news. The bad news is that you can’t just hang out and wait for them to come to you. You are going to have to play the long game and make things happen. That means that you have to brush up on your social skills and really get to know them as people first. Nothing is going to break the ice like a warm personality and a smile.

Imagine the guy of your dreams. Now, imagine his lifestyle and think about where he is likely to spend his time.

You may have to change your own life to create opportunities. Sign up for a business class after work. Change your career and get to know men of substance in your new job. Shake up your social circle, expand your horizons, get to know people who could introduce you to your new guy. Get invited to social gatherings where he is likely to be. It is all about immersing yourself in the same lifestyle.

Your Appearance

While it may sound superficial, you are not going to get the guy you really want unless you stand out. If he is a quality guy, you are certainly going to have competition from other women. Don’t let this discourage you.

The only thing you have to worry about is being the best that you can be. Dress well, but not over the top. Lose a little weight if you have to. Have your makeup, hair, nails, professionally done. If you don’t really know what to do or where to start, get someone else’s opinion – perhaps your best friend.


If you are a confident person, you are going to make others around you feel good too.  When you are confident, you smile more, carry yourself better, talk better – and all that puts others at ease. A good mood is contagious.

If you are nervous, anxious, insecure and unsure of yourself, you are going to make those around you edgy too. This is something that is hard-wired into humans. You’ve no doubt heard about “giving off bad vibes” – Well, it’s a fact that humans communicate on many different levels – some are very low-key, but there nonetheless.

Lack of confidence is going to make you appear unapproachable. You are not going to smile, your body language is going to say, “leave me alone,” and you are not going to have much to say. Most guys are not going to pursue someone like that, let alone the guy of your dreams. We all like to be around fun, relaxed people – it is our nature.

Men of substance prefer women who are likewise. They are attracted to women who have confidence and are in demand. While having a fun personality is key, you also have to show him that you have things together. You have to show him you have high value.


So, you meet the guy of your dreams – what now? Well, if you aren’t a decent conversationalist, there’s a good chance you are going to lose him. No matter how great you are, if you can’t talk to him, he’s never going to know it.

One of the best ways to get better at conversation is to practice. This is especially true if you are a little on the shy side and/or you don’t feel at ease interacting socially. The only way you are going to get better is to do more of it.

Take the opportunity to talk to anyone (and everyone) whenever possible. If you are shy, start with family and friends and then graduate to striking up conversations with co-workers or strangers. Go out on a blind date or two – and even if the guy isn’t what you are looking for, the experience can provide a valuable opportunity to hone your skills.

During the conversation, make sure that you have something to say. If all you do is sit there and agree with whatever he says, you are going to lose his interest fast. Have an opinion and don’t be afraid to express it – he will admire you for it. If you have to, read up on some current events so that you sound like you know what you are talking about.


While he may appreciate the fact that you have a bit of an attitude, he isn’t going to want to fight you over every little thing. There is going to come a time when he just wants to take control and decide where you are going on that date, for example.

He also won’t appreciate the fact that you come off as a know-it-all. While you may know you’re right, there is no reason to rub his face in it and completely emasculate him. I know women who do this and they are still single (even though they are smart, personable, and high achievers). You don’t always have to exert your dominance.

When it comes down to it, you want to let him know you have confidence, but not that you have an inferiority complex that you compensate for by having an aggressive personality.

Don’t Be Too Easy

High value guys like challenges. In fact, they appreciate the fact that the best things in life don’t come easy. Don’t appear too eager or you’ll suddenly lose your perceived value. Sure, you may be great to hang out with for a date or two, but when it comes down to who he wants as the mother of his children… well, maybe not so much.

Online dating/Dating services

If you dare, there is a chance that you could meet a quality guy online, but you’re almost always better off meeting him in real life situations instead. There are so many phonies and flakes on dating sites that you can waste a lot of time and never meet anyone decent.

I recommend that if you go this route, sign up for a dating service that caters to local professionals in your area. Free dating sites, while they sound great, really cater to the lowest common denominator and you’ll find that sifting through the prospects and enduring awkward dates is not the best use of your time. Sure, you’ll pay for a dating service (sometimes a lot), but you have to look at the big picture. They (the staff) work for you and do their very best to make sure you meet someone compatible.

If an actual service is out of your price range and you have to go with the self-serve online option, try to at least use a paid service. Not to say that you can’t find love using one of the big free services, but you are going to have to search harder and go through a lot of nonsense. There is no barrier to these free services and you never know who you are talking to. There is something about paying for a service and using a credit card. It seems to make people behave and weeds out the undesirables.

Finding Mr. Right is not an insurmountable task. However, like most things in life that are high value, it isn’t going to be easy. But look at it this way: How much time are you going to waste dating all the wrong guys?

Make a plan now. Here’s how to get started:








How to Get a Man to Commit – Critical Mistakes You Could be Making This Very Minute!

If you’re looking for a guy to commit to you, there are certain do’s and don’ts that you should be aware of. Some are blatantly obvious, and others, not so much. So here are 8 things that could make him think twice about committing – and may even cause him to run for the hills!

You go too fast! – This is probably the number one reason that relationships fail in the first few months. You have to maintain self-control, even if your natural instinct is to profess your love for him, start discussing marriage, and your life together as a family. This is way too much for him to process this early in the relationship.

Even if he is giving you signs that he is ready for a deeper commitment, it would be a mistake to act on that and take it up a notch. If he starts getting serious, be pleasant, but not enthusiastic (even though you really want to go ahead full speed). You are looking for a happy medium between cold and uncaring, and being too eager.
You give it all away. Now, we aren’t just taking about sex here (but that is a biggy). You go full speed ahead, tell him all your secrets, talk about every intimate detail of your life – in short, you are not holding anything back. You give him everything he wants, agree with what he says (even to the point of not voicing your own opinion), and you have a hard time saying no.

Guys like a challenge and maintaining a little mystery is going to work in your favor. It’s human nature to assign more value to something that is not as easy to obtain, or is more elusive.

When it comes to sex, it’s always a good idea to hold back until he shows signs he is serious. If you don’t, he may start taking you for granted. Though good times and sex are exactly what he wants right now (and he loves you for providing it), it is only temporary. Eventually, his standards could be higher – especially if he’s looking for a wife and the mother of his children.

You have a wall up - On the other end of the scale is the woman who simply cannot open up and let someone in. For various reasons, she may have this built in defense mechanism that simply prevents her from getting close to the new man in her life. Maybe you can get away with this in the beginning, but eventually he is going to want to feel closer to you – and this is not going to happen if you cannot open up a little. Note that this is the exact opposite to the problem above. The key is a happy medium.

You get jealous – Jealousy is like poison to a relationship and if you start getting jealous, you can pretty well count the days until he says it’s over. Often, jealousy is just a symptom of your own low self-esteem. Try to work on these issues and you’ll notice that the jealousy is going to subside as you start believing in your own self-worth.

You try to control his life – For some people, controlling the situation is a natural instinct and something they feel they must do. However, trying to control someone almost always backfires. In the beginning of a relationship, if he senses that you are being controlling and manipulating, he may pull the plug on the whole thing without warning.

You neglect your appearance – So you’ve gotten to know each other well and you feel completely at ease, but that doesn’t mean that you should neglect your appearance. Though it sounds completely superficial, you should try to maintain appearances. This goes for men too. Sometimes it’s just too early in the relationship to start letting things go.

You get too comfortable – similar to the above, but with a difference. There are certain things you may always want to keep to yourself. I won’t get into the gruesome details, but suffice it to say, it may not be time to let him see your more personal side. Certain bodily functions and routines should be kept under wraps, if you know what I mean. You are also going to have to make sure the washroom is spotless if you know he’s coming over. Again, this works the same for men. I know, I know, we all do it – but the point is that, early in the relationship, it may be a little too much reality.

You lie to him – It doesn’t really matter what the lie is about, the fact is, if he catches you in a lie, he won’t trust you. He needs to be able to rely on you before the relationship goes to the next level.

If you can’t understand why your man is not committing, then you may want to look at some of the points mentioned above. However, the situation could be completely out of your control. He may not be the type to commit to anyone at all. If you feel that this is the case, then you have some tough decisions to make. You can’t force him to make a commitment.

It may be that you are just not compatible and you both want different things. Nothing wrong with that, but it’s better that it comes out now in the beginning than to discover it down the road when you have much more invested into the relationship.