Even if you haven’t had much luck in attracting mister right, you should know that there are some great guys out there just looking to meet someone such as yourself. Forget all the bad dates you’ve had – start from scratch and use these tips to finally meet someone amazing.
The Right Place at the Right Time
So, the first thing you have to consider is where to meet Mr. Right. If you are bouncing around from one bad date to another, then there is a chance that you are looking in the wrong place. Planning ahead a little is often all it takes. If most of your dates come from the local bar or a certain online dating site, then the first thing you need to do is shake things up. Get out of your old habits and start a new routine. If something continues to produce bad results, chances are, it isn’t going to get any better.
One of the best strategies you can adopt is to look for your guy in normal, everyday life situations. When you hang out in bars or surf shady dating sites, the chances of meeting someone of substance is greatly diminished. Not to say that you can’t, just that it is unlikely.
The quality guys are everywhere – that’s the good news. The bad news is that you can’t just hang out and wait for them to come to you. You are going to have to play the long game and make things happen. That means that you have to brush up on your social skills and really get to know them as people first. Nothing is going to break the ice like a warm personality and a smile.
Imagine the guy of your dreams. Now, imagine his lifestyle and think about where he is likely to spend his time.
You may have to change your own life to create opportunities. Sign up for a business class after work. Change your career and get to know men of substance in your new job. Shake up your social circle, expand your horizons, get to know people who could introduce you to your new guy. Get invited to social gatherings where he is likely to be. It is all about immersing yourself in the same lifestyle.
While it may sound superficial, you are not going to get the guy you really want unless you stand out. If he is a quality guy, you are certainly going to have competition from other women. Don’t let this discourage you.
The only thing you have to worry about is being the best that you can be. Dress well, but not over the top. Lose a little weight if you have to. Have your makeup, hair, nails, professionally done. If you don’t really know what to do or where to start, get someone else’s opinion – perhaps your best friend.
If you are a confident person, you are going to make others around you feel good too. When you are confident, you smile more, carry yourself better, talk better – and all that puts others at ease. A good mood is contagious.
If you are nervous, anxious, insecure and unsure of yourself, you are going to make those around you edgy too. This is something that is hard-wired into humans. You’ve no doubt heard about “giving off bad vibes” – Well, it’s a fact that humans communicate on many different levels – some are very low-key, but there nonetheless.
Lack of confidence is going to make you appear unapproachable. You are not going to smile, your body language is going to say, “leave me alone,” and you are not going to have much to say. Most guys are not going to pursue someone like that, let alone the guy of your dreams. We all like to be around fun, relaxed people – it is our nature.
Men of substance prefer women who are likewise. They are attracted to women who have confidence and are in demand. While having a fun personality is key, you also have to show him that you have things together. You have to show him you have high value.
So, you meet the guy of your dreams – what now? Well, if you aren’t a decent conversationalist, there’s a good chance you are going to lose him. No matter how great you are, if you can’t talk to him, he’s never going to know it.
One of the best ways to get better at conversation is to practice. This is especially true if you are a little on the shy side and/or you don’t feel at ease interacting socially. The only way you are going to get better is to do more of it.
Take the opportunity to talk to anyone (and everyone) whenever possible. If you are shy, start with family and friends and then graduate to striking up conversations with co-workers or strangers. Go out on a blind date or two – and even if the guy isn’t what you are looking for, the experience can provide a valuable opportunity to hone your skills.
During the conversation, make sure that you have something to say. If all you do is sit there and agree with whatever he says, you are going to lose his interest fast. Have an opinion and don’t be afraid to express it – he will admire you for it. If you have to, read up on some current events so that you sound like you know what you are talking about.
While he may appreciate the fact that you have a bit of an attitude, he isn’t going to want to fight you over every little thing. There is going to come a time when he just wants to take control and decide where you are going on that date, for example.
He also won’t appreciate the fact that you come off as a know-it-all. While you may know you’re right, there is no reason to rub his face in it and completely emasculate him. I know women who do this and they are still single (even though they are smart, personable, and high achievers). You don’t always have to exert your dominance.
When it comes down to it, you want to let him know you have confidence, but not that you have an inferiority complex that you compensate for by having an aggressive personality.
Don’t Be Too Easy
High value guys like challenges. In fact, they appreciate the fact that the best things in life don’t come easy. Don’t appear too eager or you’ll suddenly lose your perceived value. Sure, you may be great to hang out with for a date or two, but when it comes down to who he wants as the mother of his children… well, maybe not so much.
Online dating/Dating services
If you dare, there is a chance that you could meet a quality guy online, but you’re almost always better off meeting him in real life situations instead. There are so many phonies and flakes on dating sites that you can waste a lot of time and never meet anyone decent.
I recommend that if you go this route, sign up for a dating service that caters to local professionals in your area. Free dating sites, while they sound great, really cater to the lowest common denominator and you’ll find that sifting through the prospects and enduring awkward dates is not the best use of your time. Sure, you’ll pay for a dating service (sometimes a lot), but you have to look at the big picture. They (the staff) work for you and do their very best to make sure you meet someone compatible.
If an actual service is out of your price range and you have to go with the self-serve online option, try to at least use a paid service. Not to say that you can’t find love using one of the big free services, but you are going to have to search harder and go through a lot of nonsense. There is no barrier to these free services and you never know who you are talking to. There is something about paying for a service and using a credit card. It seems to make people behave and weeds out the undesirables.
Finding Mr. Right is not an insurmountable task. However, like most things in life that are high value, it isn’t going to be easy. But look at it this way: How much time are you going to waste dating all the wrong guys?
Make a plan now. Here’s how to get started: